Star's Adventures of Shrek Ch: 1

Star's Adventures of Shrek Ch: 1

*A stream of light cuts through the darkness illuminating a beautiful but worn book. The book opens revealing a picture of lovely princess running over a field with a fairly-tale castle in the background*

Shrek: (Narrating) Once upon of time, there was lovely princess. (The next page reveals the princess in silhouette with a suggestion of some kind of magic force surrounding her). But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. (Turn the page to reveal a castle protected by a dragon) She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible, fire breathing dragon. (Next page shows knights being attacked by the dragon) Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. (Turn the page to reveal the princess sleeping under a canopied bed in a chamber similar to Sleepy Beauty) She waited in the Dragon's Keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss- (A large green hand tears the page from the book and we hear O.S paper crumpling and a wiping noise) Hehehe, yeah- like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of...

*Shrek comes out of the out home. He picks his underwear from his butt and notices a page of the book stuck of his foot. He shakes it off, looking up he admires his house. Shrek, proud, happy and content, walks out of frame. Bucket going into mud. Shrek is having a mud shower. Shrek grabs a bug from his toiletry jar, squeezes it on to a bone a proceeds to clean his teeth. He checks his and the mirror cracks, making him ever happier. Shrek jumps into a mucky swamp pond, we see the water bubbling and a relieved look on Shrek's face. Dead fish float belly up, Shrek adds them to his shopping bag. Shrek leaves the pond, his legs are covered in leeches, he pulls one off and tastes it. It's good. Mud secretes out of a hollowed log floating inside the pond. Shrek pops out behind it and grabs his "Mud Squid" from the muddy pile. Shrek is painting, delicately creating what seems to be a beautiful vista. He takes the painting from the easel and hammers a stick to the back. As he walks off with it we see that it's a "Beware " sign. Shrek enters his home. Pub door with "Wanted Creatures Reward" sign bursts open and angry mob pours out. An ogre hunter draws a plan of attack onto ground. The Villagers reach for torches and pitchforks. Shrek lounging in front of fire. He pulls a fish from a sack at his side and bites off the head. Angry mob treks through the forest. A villagers steps on one of Shrek's "Stay Out" signs. Shrek hears a noise and peers out his window. he sees the angry mob coming through the swamp, lit in the morning darkness by burning torches. Shrek rolls his eyes. The mob makes it's way quietly through the bushes. Shrek follows closely behind. The angry mob stops, warily they port the bushes in front of them and we see that they are right outside Shrek's house. One steps forward determinedly*

Villager James: I think he's in there

Villager Chris: (intense) All right, let's get it!

*Another villager looks alarmed and reaches out, grabbing the first and stopping them*

Villager James: Hold on! Do you know ehat that thing could do to you?

*A third villager pipes in*

Villager Mike: (forboding) Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's good

*The other villagers all stare are him bewildered*

Shrek: (brightly and laughing) Yes, well actually that would be a giant- (The villagers hear the new voice and spin around. Shrek is standing nonchalantly behind them, he advances on them as he speaks, getting more intense and terrifying as he does. They back away frightened) Now orges... they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly pelled skin. They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast

*Villager James leaps forward bravelywaving the torch in front of him*

Villager James: Back! Back beast! Back! I warn you!

*Shrek leans away, avoiding the torch and watching the man with casual indifference. When the villager is done with waving, he holds the torch threateningly in front of him. Shrek moistens his thumb and forefinger and reaching forward, snuffs out torch. The villagers stand stummed for a moment*

Villager James: (He drops his torch) Right

*Shrek's long roar, simultaneously the villagers screw their eyes closed and scream for all they're worth. Their scream outlast Shrek's roar and Shrek ponders them for a moments*

Shrek: (whispers) This is the part, where you run away

*They all run as fast as they can. We cut in close of Shrek as he watches them go*

Shrek: (chuckles) And stay out! (He suddenly notices a small flyer that the villagers have left behind. He picks it up and reads it) Wanted - Fairytale Creatures

*He tosses it into the ground and heads back into his house. Then, an shadow evil female figure picks up the paper*

???: (evil chuckles) Soon, all the fairytales creatures will be ours

*The next day, a big portal comes from the sky. Our heroes falling and screaming. Before the landing, Star, Sonic, Shadow, Ace, Matt, Lexi and Amy, but the other heroes fail landing on the ground. The SITPS Warriors looked around in the strange place*

Tails: Were are we?

Sonic: I don't know, Tails. But that portal thing may dropping us here

Shadow: Your telling me, Sonic. All we know is the time portal comes from the mulitverse

Star: (quietly) Shh, quiet everyone I hear something

*Star and the SITPS Warriors hear the fairy tale creatures were captured by the guards*

Star: It's headed that way, come on!

*They're headed off to the middle of the forest, close behind bars being hauled away in a wagon. Widen to reveal a guard leading off shackled Dwarves as a farmer collects the coins from the trades. This is one of Farquaad's trading post. Our heroes were shocked to the fairytale creatures*

Guard 1: Alright, this one's full. Take it away

Dwarves: (singing mournfully) He, ho, hi, he, dwarf prisoners are we... he, ho, hi, he dwarf prisoners are we...

Guard 2: Move along... come on

Stimpy: (shocked) What are they doing to those poor fairytale things?

Star: The fairytale creatures got captured by the villagers to take them away to the guards. And the Captain gives the coins to the villagers from reward their money

SpongeBob: (gives a shivered) Oooh, I don't think I do not like it too much

Patrick: (gives a shivered) Me neither

Captain of the Guards: Next!

*A second farmer steps foward, shoveing a witch tied with rope, to the table. A waiting guard grabs her broom and snaps it over his knee*

Guard 2: Give me that! (He brakes a snap a broom from his knee) Your flying days are over

Captain of the Guards: That's 20 pieces silver for the witch. Next!

*Guard 2 take her away. The second farmer collects his reward and walks past a line of people waiting to sell their prisoners: two villagers with elves, an old man with Pinocchio, an old woman with a Donkey, a boy with a glowing fairy in a cage and a burly peasant with The Three Little Pigs*

Farmer: (grumbling to himself) Lousey 20 pieces!

*As the farmer passes, the pan stops on Donkey, his muzzle tied with rope. He looks around nervously. He sees the witch carted off in a wagon with the dwarves. Hearing a cry, he turns to see the Three Little Bears in cages. Baby Bear reaches for his mother as their cages are dragged apart*

Baby Bear: (sobbing) This cage is too small!

*Donkey turns to the old woman holding his rope*

Donkey: (begging) Please, don't turn me in! I'll never be stubborn again please. I can change, please gimme another chance!

Old Woman: Ah, shut up! (she slaps at Donkey)

Donkey: Ow!

Captain of the Guards: Next!

*Geppetto with the boy puppet steps forward and plops Pinocchio down on the table*

Captain of the Guards: (to Geppetto) What have you got?

Geppetto: (to the Captain) This little wooden puppet

Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet! I'm a real boy!

*Pinocchio begins vibrating. His nose shoots out to five times it's previous length*

Captain of the Guards: (he looks at Pinocchio's long wooden nose) Five shilling for the possessed toy. (he gives the coins to Geppetto) Take him away!

Pinocchio: (The guard grabs him to the wagon) Father, please don't let them do this! Help me!

Captain of the Guards: Next! (to the old woman) What have you got?

*The old woman drags the stubborn Donkey up to the table*

Old Woman: (to the Captain) Well, I've got a talking donkey

*The Captain looks up from his ledger*

Captain of the Guards: (to the old woman) Right. Well, that's good for ten shilings, if you can prove it

*Donkey swallows hard and looks at the old woman. The old woman begins to untie the rope from Donkey*

Old Woman: (to Donkey) Oh, go ahead lil' fella 

*Donkey looks at the old woman, then to the Captain. The Captain looks back at Donkey, and lifts an eyebrow*

Captain of the Guards: Well?

*Donkey looks back at the Captain saying nothing.The old woman begins to sweat*

Old Woman: (a bit nervous) Oh... ah... he's just a little bit nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt! Talk!

*The old woman slaps at Donkey*

Captain of the Guards: That's it. I heard enough. (to the guards) Guards!

Old Woman: (to the Captain) No! He talks. He does.

*She grabs the Donkey's lips and squeezes them*

Old Woman: (pretending it's the Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk! I love to talk! I'm the talkiest damn thing you ever saw! 

*The Captain has had enough. He motions to his guards*

Captain of the Guards: (embarass) Get her out of my sight!

*The guards advance on the old woman and drags off screaming*

Old Woman: (screaming) No! No! I swear. Let me go. He can talk! No, wait!

*As she struggles, the old woman accidentally kicks the caged pixie from Peter Pan's hand. The cage goes flying through the air. It lands on Donkey's head, exploding pixie dust all over him. He's shocked at first, but smiles, realizing...*

Donkey: (he reacts he was flying) Hey! I can fly!

*All heads turns to Donkey, even the SITPS Warriors looked at Flying Talking Donkey*

Peter Pan: He can fly!

Three Little Pigs: (unisons) He can fly!

SITPS Warriors: (unisons) He can fly!

Captain of the Guards: He can talk!

*A smiling Donkey begins floating upward, running in place like a reindeer*

Donkey: That's right, fool! I'm a flying talking donkey. You might a seen a housefly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha! Ha!

*As the pixie dust dissipates, Donkey realizes his predicament*

Donkey: Uh-oh. (he falls into the ground) Oof!

Captain of the Guards: Seize him!

*The guards dive him for Donkey, but he run for all he's worth into the woods. The Captain and some of the guards take chase. Our heroes run follow Donkey through these woods to rescue him*

Captain of the Guards: After him! He's getting away! 

Star: (to her team) Come on, mates! Let's go help him!

Everyone: (unisons) Right! (they all running through the woods)

*Close on: Donkey as trees whiz by. He looks over his shoulder. They're gaining the WHAM! Donkey barrels into Shrek*

Donkey: Oof! (been hit by Shrek)

*Shrek was hanging a "Keep out" sign; he looks down at Donkey. He and Shrek regard each other for a moment. The the guards round the corner and stop at the sight of Shrek then our heroes stop at other sight at Shrek, too. Star looks at big green ogre like she never saw him before*

Captain of the Guards: (to Shrek, reluctant) You there, Orge! And you, girl and your friends!

Shrek: (to the Captain) Aye?

Duck: (to the Captain) What do you want from us, mister?!

Ren: (to the Captain) Yeah! You and your stoopid guards were taking those fairytales creatures away!

SpongeBob: (to the Captain) Are you going to try arrest us like them?

Captain of the Guards: Well, um? (he pulls a scroll and opens it) By the order of Lord Farquaad (becoming nervous) I'm authorized to place you all under arrest and transport you all to a designated resettlement facility...

*Shrek looks down at him*

Shrek: Oh, really? You and what army? 

*The Captain makes looks behind him. His men have deserted. Shrek just smiles. Shadow tells the Captain to beat it before he uses his chaos spear*

Shadow: (chews out at the Captain) Listen here, knight! Don't try miss with me, with big green ogre, my sister, Akira, or her team while we around. You understand? Now beat it! BEFORE I USE MY CHAOS SPEAR!!!

Captain of the Guards: (screams) AHHH! AHHH! WAAHH!

*The Captain makes tracks back to his encampment*

Donkey: Heh, heh, heh

Sonic: Nice job, Shadow (he gives a high five to Shadow)

Shadow: (to Sonic) Hey, no problem. I got some of my other powers from my patrol warrior form

*Shrek shrugs and walks off taking no notice Donkey and the SITPS Warriors. Donkey smiles at his new hero and decides to follow. Shrek continues on his way, not noticing the little donkey and the SITPS Warriors following at a distance behind them, trying to work up the courage to speak. Whenever Shrek turns the Donkey and the SITPS Warriors darts behind the trees. Finally, Shrek spins and see them*

Donkey: (ingratiating) Can I say somethin' to you? Listen, you was really, really something back there! Incredible!

*Shrek stops and turns*

Shrek: (a little annoyed) Are you talking to... me?

*Somehow, Donkey and the SITPS Warriors are gone. Shrek turns back. Donkey is right in front of him, beaming. And our heroes right behind him, too*

Donkey: (fast) Yes! I was talkin' to you. Can I just tell you, you was really great back there, man those guards they thought they was all that! Then you showed up and... BAM! They were tripping over themselves like badies in the woods. See that, that really made me feel good to see that

Shrek: Oh, that's great (disinterested) Really

Donkey: Man, it's good to be free

Shrek: (to Donkey) Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends... hmmm?

Donkey: But uh... I don't have any friends. An I am not going at there by myself. Hey, wait a minute I got a great idea, I'll stick with you. You're mean, green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us!

Sandy: Yeah! And we can beat those mean old guards just like you scare them early

*Shrek finally fed up. He stops, a deep sigh then he turns on Donkey and the SITPS Warriors waving his arms and trying to scare them off, roaring in his face*

Shrek: Rooooaaarrr!

*Donkey and the SITPS Warriors are terrified for a beat, then collects themselves*

Amy: (disgusted) Bleah! Your breath smells awful!

Lexi: (disgusted) And it stinks!

Donkey: (nervous laugh) Oh wow! That was really scary. And, if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath certainly will get the job done. 'Cuz you definitely need some tic tacs or something 'cuz your breath stinks! (he pops out upside down on the log) Man! You almost burned the hair off my nose. Just like the time...

*Shrek grabs Donkey's muzzles holding it shut, but Donkey continues trying to talk nonetheless*

Donkey: ...mime mi benb bindo bo moods manm mi mied bo mgo...

*Shrek lets go and tries to walk away but Donkey and the SITPS Warriors continues and follows*

Donkey: And the I ate some rotten berries. Man, I had some strong gasses eeking

SpongeBob: (to SpongeBob, as he pops out on the log) Yep. Even me and Patrick were eating some delicious Goofy Goober ice cream since Star her friends came to visit us! Dude, it's was so sweet

*Shrek can't take it anymore, he spins around to face the Donkey and SpongeBob* 

Shrek: (to Donkey and the SITPS Warriors) Why are you guys following me?!!

Donkey: I tell you why?

*Shrek is speechless with horror as Donkey sings*

Donkey: (sings) Cause I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to deride meeeeeeee. But you gotta have friends--

Shrek: (cutting him off) STOP SINGING!

*Donkey closes his mouth in shock*

Shrek: (he grabs and landed next to the small river) Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!

*Donkey looks at Shrek for a beat considering these words*

Donkey: Wow! Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest

Shrek: Listen, little donkey, take a look at me, what am I?

*Donkey looks Shrek up and down*

Donkey: Ahhhh, really green?

Shrek: NO! I'm an ogre! You know-- grab your torch and pitchforks! Doesn't their bother you?

Donkey: (shakes his head) Nope!

Shrek: (a little suprised) Really?

Donkey: Really, really

*Shrek is suddenly disarmed*

Shrek: Oh...? And.. who are these guys? (he looks at the SITPS Warriors, standing in front of them) 

Donkey: Them? Oh... So, you must be here. Who are you?

Star: I'm Star, the leader of the SITPS Warriors, my dad and my brother calls me "Akira". This is my brothers and sister, Sonic, Shadow, Tails, and Amy

Sonic: Hi

Shadow Hey

Tails: Hello

Amy: Hi there

Star: This is Knuckles 

Knuckles: Yo!

Star: This is Big The Cat

Big: Hello

Star: This is Ren and Stimpy

Ren: Hi

Stimpy: (waving) Hello

Star: These are my other brothers and sisters, Ace, Lexi, Duck, Slam, Tech, Rev, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy

Ace: What's up, doc

Lexi: (waving) Hi

Duck: Hi

Slam: Hello

Tech: Hi

Rev: (fast talk) Hi

SpongeBob: Hello

Patrick: Hi

Sandy: Howdy, partner

Star: And this is my friend, Matt Todd

Matt: Hey there

Star: (to Shrek) Anyway, what's your name?

Shrek: (hesitant) Uh... Shrek

*Shrek turns and continues on his way*

Everyone: (unisons) Shrek?

Donkey: (shakes it off) Well, you know what I like about you Shrek? You got that kind of "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that Shrek. You all right

*They all come to the crest of a hill, which slopes down into a large field. Beyond lies Shrek's house. As Shrek, Donkey, and the SITPS Warriors crest the hill and start down the winding path to the swamp, we start seeing signs: "KEEP OUT", "STAY AWAY" and "DANGER". They all come upon Shrek's place*

SITPS Warriors: (unisons) Woooaaaah!

Donkey: Wooh! Look at that! Who'd want to live in a place like that?

Shrek: That would be my home

*Shrek starts away. Donkey and the SITPS Warriors reacts and follows*

Donkey: (backpedaling) Oh, and it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you're done with such a modest budget! (he looks at the rock) I like that boulder. This is a nice boulder

*Shrek throws him. As they walk toward the house. Donkey notices the °Beware Ogre" signs. Our heroes looked around in the swamp*

Tech: (to Donkey) So, you think he doesn't have his enterntain? 

Donkey: (reaching) Yeah, I guess you don't entertain much, do you?

Shrek: I like my privacy

*They reach Shrek's door*

Stimpy: (nervous) Well, I do too! Me and Ren's cousin, Sven that we have an privacy

Donkey: That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face, and you try to give them a hint, and they won't leave, and then there's that big, awkward silence... you know?

*Shrek glares at Donkey. There's an awkward silence*

Stimpy: (to Shrek) Umm.. can we stay with you?

Shrek: (turns, stunned) What?

Donkey: Can we stay with you, please?

*Shrek turns and smiles overly genuine, exaggerated friendliness*

Shrek: Of course

Both: (unison) Really?

Shrek: No

Donkey: (pleading) PLEEEEASE! I don't wqnna go back there. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! Well, maybe you do. But, that's why we gotta stick together!

Stimpy: (pleading) Yeah! You've got to let us stay! Please! Please!

*Donkey and Stimpy climbs up in Shrek's face, hooves on his chest and hands on his leg, totally overwhelming him*

Shrek: OKAY! Okay. But one night only

Stimpy: Oh, thanks, Shrek

*Shrek turns and opens his door, shaking his head. Donkey changers in to the hovel, startling Shrek. Our heroes entered Shrek's house, looking around the house*

Shrek: Ahh.... what are you... no, no, no

Donkey: Ah, this is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swapping manly stroies and in the morning, I'm making waffles

*Donkey jumps into Shrek's lounge chair, circles and then plops down making himself confortable*

Shrek: Uggggh!

Star: (she sees Shrek's bedroom and she jumps the bed) Wow! Check out the bed!

Ren: Hey look, Stimpy! Check it out!

Stimpy: (he looks at the table, sitting the chair with Ren) Golly. This tables and those chairs is really cool

Ren: I know. But the chairs looks made like a wood to me

Star: (she appears when she tells Shrek) So, where do we sleep?

*Shrek was too frustrated to even articulate. He points frantically outside*

Shrek: (exasperated) OUTSIDE!!!

*Dejected, Donkey heads back out. Our heroes were not happy to see Shrek gets mad at them*

Donkey: (hurt) Oh, ah, I guess that's cool. I mean, we don't know you and you don't know us, so we guess, outside is best. (sniff) Here we go

Star: (to her team) Come on, guys. We're going to sleep outside

Matt: (walks) Yo6 know the moon hasn't come out yet till dark

Donkey: Good night. (sighs)

*Shrek slams the door in their faces. He turns and looks regretfully at the door for a moment, but shakes it off*

Duck: Sheesh. What a grouch

Amy: (to Donkey) You know you like being born outside, right?

Donkey: Of course, Amy. I'm Donkey, I was born outside

Rev: (fast talk) You just be sittin' by yourself. Maybe, outside I guess. You know. By yourself from, outside

Donkey: Well, I guess, I'll sing to myself, again. (singing to himself) I'm all alone... There's no one here beside me...